What are ANR ABF Meet Ups or Munches And How to Start A Munch or Meetup

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What is a ANR/ABF munch?

A meetup or munch is a low-pressure social gathering for people involved in or interested in a topic, usually at a restaurant, bar, or coffee shop. When available, munches often use a private room. In the UK, the venue is usually a pub, and people are free to arrive and leave within the specified hours. The primary purpose is socializing, though some munches also have announcements from local organizations. Munches often help those who are curious about the lifestyle meet others who may be able to help them become more comfortable and better informed. Munches can also be a place to get advice about or pass on anecdotes about experiences.

Many munch organizers post their event information on social networking sites, while others may use e-mail or mailing lists. Groups may announce a munch in-person at a meeting, on a community calendar or newsletter, or on their own websites. [1]

What Happens At An ANR/ABF Munch/Meet Up?

Each munch has its own feel. This is influenced by the venue, the organizers, and the regulars who attend; if you’re shy, a great way to start is to get in touch with organizers/greeters in advance so you’ll have a friendly face looking out for you.

Most munches have organizers or greeters who attend most if not all of their particular munch meetings and who look out for newcomers to try to give them a warm welcome and introduce them to some folks. Keep in mind these are just people, and volunteers at that, and no one is perfect. If you show up to a munch and aren’t greeted right away, or even at all, don’t take it personally. New members of a munch may experience swarming where they receive lots of attention from many people all at once which can be overwhelming; if you think this might be a risk for you, consider attending with a friend. Some new people may also be entirely ignored. Be sure that if you are overwhelmed with attention that you state so and set boundaries'; if no one seems to greet you, try the CIQ method to open up a dialog with others. [2]

It can be tempting when all of these options suddenly become available, to dive in head-first like a kid in a candy store, especially if you’ve been waiting for this opportunity for a long time. But it’s well worth getting your bearings first. Get to know some people that you can trust and get to know the reputations of people you’re considering to suckle/be suckled by or even date.

If you already know what you’re into, don’t hesitate to ask around about groups or parties that specialize in specific topics, but don’t be in a rush to figure out what you like. Munches are a great place for general chat and to get to know people as people [3].

Normally anyone can attend a munch that is not specifically blacklisted from a group or location (which rarely happens). At a munch, be friendly and respectful to others. Be courteous and respectful to your waitstaff, and be sure to tip well. If you don't, you may not be invited to host another event at that establishment. Some munches may have secret codes. Ask your munch coordinator if they use various codes to indicate certain things at the munch. Consider your typical, casual attire to be appropriate. Be on time whenever possible. Munches usually have a set start and end time. Being early or late by more than fifteen minutes can be inconvenient for the hosting establishment. Most importantly, please respect the confidentiality of the event. Do not ever compromise someone's anonymity regarding kink (aka "Out someone") or take pictures of people at a munch without consent.[2]

How Do I Start An ANR/ABF Munch/Meet Up in My Area?

In the event there is not a munch or ANR/ABF group that is near to you, there is nothing from starting your own group!

You will have to keep the following in mind when starting:

Consider a venue for your munch. Munches should be publicly accessible whenever possible. Low cost restaurants with a large room area that can be sectioned off are great, as are coffee shops for smaller munches, all being well lit and safe places with not too much noise. Be sure to reign in the conversations if the attendees start to loudly discuss topics that are highly sexual or kinky so as not to disturb other patrons or the establishment staff and owners.

Consider that most munches start small and can grow much larger, sometimes very quickly. Call ahead and ask if you can host a party of individuals for a local meet up group to the establishment and book a time at least two weeks in advance. This will give you enough time to promote your munch to attract attendees. Set a location, time to meet, and frequency. Most munches are run monthly or bi-weekly.

Establish secret codes in advance. A typical code might be to refer to the group as "computer club" or "hiking club" to the establishment staff as well as to others that might inquire about the group so as not to divulge information and respect confidentiality of other attendees.

Publicize the event consider using various internet channels to promote your event. There are several ways you can promote an ANR/ABF munch including contacting our staff to list your munch under current events, creating an event page on Fetlife, posting to relevant Kik and Discord groups, and posting to the main adult breastfeeding sub-Reddit. (An UK ABF sub-Reddit is now available). If your group is successful consider starting an online group or forum to support it, give it a name and consider creating other events for your group.[2]

More Information

Some couples practice ABF in order to strengthen their relationship. Read for yourself a few ANR testimonials and stories or watch videos of couples practicing adult breastfeeding. (warning:NSFW)

Reach out to others by using our ANR/ABF online communities list page to seek others who are in this lifestyle.

See the Inducing Lactation Resources page if you're interested in starting lactation without a pregnancy, for an ANR, or for your partner.


Frequently Asked Questions About ANRs/Adult Breastfeeding


  1. Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - Munch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munch_(BDSM)
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 Munch - BDSMWiki.info http://bdsmwiki.info/Munch
  3. YourTango: What Happens At A BDSM Munch And Why ANYONE Should Give One A Try https://www.yourtango.com/2017302356/what-happens-bdsm-munch-and-why-anyone-should-give-one-try